Into the Great Wide Open

 

One true mark of lazy journalism is using the calendar to choose a
topical subject. At this time of year, that would be a retrospective
on 2012 or to peer into my crystal ball for 2013. I choose the latter
as the past is already established fact whereas the future is the
great wide open.

First off, I think we are financially getting healthier as a nation
in 2013. Everyone got a good God smack in 2008 and realized they have
to spend less and save more. It is too bad our federal government
didn’t learn the same lesson. I wish they would have let us go over
the fiscal cliff. I was ready for the ride even if just to prove that
the national media’s constant use of “fiscal cliff” hadn’t frightened
me into inaction. I had read about the series of increased taxes and
decreased spending that would have occurred January 1st, 2013 and if
it made our national checkbook a little healthier then bring it on.
Also, let’s remember that we will face this choice again in Congress
the end of February so everyone can just stop congratulating each and
smiling for the camera.

I am not sure if we are becoming physically healthier as a nation or
not in 2013. I think people are watching more television about
getting healthy but that may be a contradiction in terms. I also get
a kick out of all those smug, self-righteous vegetarians who blob
salad dressing all over of their greens or eat veggie burgers held
together with calorie-laden fat. I myself am keeping it grass-fed,
whole wheat, moderate exercise and sourcing most of my carbohydrates
from beer.

I heard recently that there is a list of words prime to be removed
from our lexicon in 2013. One of these words is “fiscal cliff” of
which I’ve already discussed. The second word listed for extinction
is “bucket list.” I have certainly had my fill of people trying to
accomplish some sort of “bucket list” task prior to their own
extinction. It seems to me like a cheap literary tool to somehow lend
importance to a task which may or may not be of a great import except
to its performer. If you want to go to Paris or the Grand Canyon,
then just go. Please quit telling me that it is on your bucket list.
Also would everyone please quit giving each other “high fives.” Most
people have moved onto fist-bumps but some are still high-fiving one
as if they’ve just won the 1987 State Basketball tournament. Also,
little kids don’t like the high five either, they know it to be silly
and would probably rather you just tell them hello.

I think 2013 will be a good year, although what do I know? I am not
Carnac the Magnificent nor do I possess a crystal ball with current
software. I do know I am alive and well and that I have lined up all
of my online accounts so that I am using the same password for each
of them. What can I say? It’s a good start.

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