There are several stories that tell of the origins of Saint Valentine’s Day. One such story involves law created by Roman Emperor Claudius the Second, who decreed that young men not marry as a married man was a poor soldier. Saint Valentine was supposed to have secretly married the young soldiers, binding them to the one they loved. St Valentine was executed for breaking this law, yet healed a blind girl just prior to his own death. It was the first gift of Saint Valentine.
Valentine’s Day for me was a waste of time as a young man. In elementary school, we were ordered to give each classmate a Valentine card. We decorated Valentine’s boxes which were stuffed by other students under similar orders. I think my mom wrote out all of my cards as my penmanship was no better than it is today. As an adult, I fumbled the ball the one time I could have used St Valentine’s help. I proposed to Lisa not on Valentine’s Day but on the day after. I have no idea why I was off by a day but the proposal took hold so I guess we now have a special day unshared with all other star-struck lovers.
Lisa and I watched the Valentine’s Day episode of television’s, “the Middle.” The parents had planned a “romantic” evening of sweat pants, sitting on the couch with a bucket of chicken and television. The rationalization to bypass an evening out was that going to a restaurant was just “staring at your spouse in a different location.” We really like that show.
I want to touch on one typical Valentine’s Day topic, whether to get flowers for your wife. First off, hit yourself in the head for asking such a question. Get the flowers, have them delivered to her work and then wait for the phone call about your newly increased status as a super-husband. I know there are some women who say they do not want flowers and I’m sure some of them are sincere. Here’s the deal, if you get your wife flowers and she become upset with you, who cares? I mean if one time per year your wife is irritated only for having sent her flowers, you’re doing pretty good. It’s like triggering a small avalanche on purpose with the hope any future ones will be that much smaller,
Shakespeare wrote “love looks not with the eyes but with the mind.” My take on this is that love is a choice, and a promise. If you can take one thing away from this column, I would hope it’s that you choose who you love and that the infatuation of love at first glance better have an intelligent choice of who to love behind it or time will cause that love to slip through your fingers.
Finally, the best example of love I can give you this Valentine’s Day would be our friends, Ana and Adam. They were married last fall after which Adam became a little sick. Ana has been his guardian and advocate since this time. It is at times when they are meek that couples gain depth to their shared love. It isn’t diamonds, flowers or candy that thicken love’s ties, it is commitment and acceptance. Happy Valentine’s Day.
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