Monthly Archives: March 2011

Fallin’; in Five Acts

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Fallin’…; in Five Acts

Act I And so it begins

Lisa and I were introduced by our common friend, Nancy Thompson. I have told you about the life Lisa and I live at length in this column. The point of this act is that Nancy did something very nice for both of us when she brokered our meeting. It was now our
responsibility to pass along a considered and careful meeting to two
other people.

Act II Adam

Adam Tongen is a co-worker and friend. He and I hit it off right away in that we both like to write and enjoy a good movie. Adam reads voraciously (I’m not a reader, right Adam?) and has recently become quite a woodworker, a hobby I’m sure he’ll pursue until he has lost the balance of his fingers. Lisa liked Adam too; he was talkative, engaging and kind-his personality equal parts self-assured and awkwardly nervous.

Act III Eve (kidding-it’s Ana)

Ana is my little sister, except for the fact we share no genetic
material. I met Ana through our friendship with her mother, Teresa. Ana is a real sweetheart, but also fairly stubborn. She’s thrifty, fun, adventurous and one you need to really set the hook on and reel in when given the opportunity. Ana enjoys theater and drama so we knew that Adam and she would have that in common; relationships have begun with much less and found great success.

Act IV Paying it back, Finally

Lisa and I had long whispered about charting a course in which Ana
and Adam intersect. We were beneficiaries of such machinations and wanted to pay back the romantic world. We felt a large group of
people would make for a nice first meeting without pressure for
either of the two protagonists. The problem was that when I work,
Adam was off and vice-verse. We finally worked it out and the two met at our house. The story of their first meeting belongs to them, but I think they liked each other from the start. Lisa and I had done a good thing.

Act V The goat

I told Ana’s mother that, if Ana and Adam ever became engaged, then Lisa and I should get some sort of finders fee. I believe such fee in ancient cultures would be paid in the form of woven textiles, beads or perhaps a goat. We first discussed this topic at Mother Walseth’s during happy hour and my suggestion was more metaphorical in nature and I really want nor need woven textiles, beads or (for crying out loud) a goat. Teresa could smell eventual commitment in the air and has been terrorizing me lately with questions about what color and breed of goat would I prefer if Adam and Ana became Mr and Mrs. I told her that I would prefer a stuffed goat, like the kind you win from a vending machine. Recently Adam delivered news of a merger and asked me to participate as a groomsman. I love the idea of being apart of their impending wedding; I just don’t want to be a shepherd.

Reloaded

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Reloaded

A few months ago, I used a “bullet” format in which my column
consisted of several topics which were unrelated. It came as a result
of one of my favorite phrases “just gimme the bullets” which I use
when I want the facts of a situation without embellishment or
storytelling. This week I have reloaded.

Bullet One

The word “amazing” may be destined for the language scrap heap.
Amazing was once reserved for actions or characteristics that were
truly-amazing. It seems now that it has become a word most often used
by reality show contestants to describe their fellow competitors
prior to voting them off the show. These long soliloquy’s usually
include some flattering words or phrases that describe fellow
contestants as “strong” or “fierce” followed by the obligatory
“amazing” then the coup de grace of a vote off the island, campus,
ranch,…whatever.

Bullet Two

Woofstock is Saturday from 11 am until 3 pm at the Eagle’s Club in
Thief River Falls, Minnesota. Woofstock exists to benefit the Pennington County Humane Society. They’ve planned a huge silent auction, free-will meal and more to benefit the pets that need their help. I will be there
with a few boxes of my book and all sales during Woofstock go
completely to the Humane Society. I’ve received much joy and
companionship from animals so I would like to pay some back. Lisa and
I treat our cats Laine, Twitch and Magoo like children; it makes no
matter that they aren’t human. I don’t believe you love something
based on its species, you love something based on your own capacity
to love.

Bullet Three

What goes up as it goes down? A see-saw, of course; I got your back,
Mike.

Bullet Four

In the 1972 movie, “Jeremiah Johnson,” a common phrase was, “keep
your top knot dry.” This phrase refers to the last knot that holds
the other knots together. If this knot is lost then everything falls
apart. It is a metaphor to keep your head about you so you are able
to make good decisions in bad circumstances. The heavy snow pack is
now melting which makes people nervous about flooding. I think some
of this fear rubs off on us as it is a news topic worth
covering-sometimes with a little too much drama. Absorb the
information and helpful instruction about any flooding but resist the
drama, be safe and keep your top knot dry.

Bullet Five

I believe our country will soon come out of our crisis of economy and
confidence better than ever-harder and stronger. However, we need to
change our society or larger, more systemic problems will occur in
the future. Families can no longer demand that our school system
raise their children then blame them when they fail to do so. Parents
must roll up their sleeves and do the work of love, discipline,
religious education and teaching responsibility or else future able
minds and bodies will be housed in jails or nursed by our welfare
system. Our schools can no longer be institutions that place emphasis
on “self-worth” instead of hard work (and good grades) or we will become lazy, unmotivated and stupid. We need to improve from our very base, to do
otherwise means all else will fall apart. If you think these things
are tough; then go ask a person born prior to World War Two and they
will tell you about tough. They made this country what it is; I hope
they can see all of us improve upon it their time.

Letter to Dave

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Dear Dave,

It has been two weeks of repair and replacement. The winter takes a toll on not only humans but the equipment we use to survive the
season. I find that most of our equipment is best repaired by others
in that I most often break whatever item I use to make the repair; a zero-sum deal. I always hear people speak of “non-destructive
testing,” it must be a myth-I cannot imagine such a thing.

I heard our nephew, Jamie stopped in Carrington for dinner on his way
to the North Dakota Winter Shows; sounds like a good trip. I still
plan to meet you for breakfast yet this spring. I hope we can visit
some of the Real-Time Kinetic gps towers that have been set-up for
the farmers out there. I remember the odd people we met on top of the
hill, where some antennas are set, last time I was there and so will
bring my camera.

Dave, you and I grew up in the country and we drove rear wheel drive
cars all winter long. I think this fact inoculated us from fear of
winter driving. Lisa and I were comparing notes and we were surprised at how often we drive on roads we feel are quite passable only to hear horror stories from others about the “awful” roads upon which we’ve just driven. Driving in the winter is like swinging tree to tree on a vine; you don’t let one go until you grasp the next. What I mean is I find a target (sign, yellow line, white line or shoulder of road) to guide me along until I can find another target to guide me. If I can’t find a target I slow down or stop until the wind dies down and another target presents itself. I cannot remember the roads and streets ever being more clear and drivable; happily some highway departments are still coming in under budget. I think complaining about winter driving in Minnesota is similar to residing in Hawaii and complaining about all that “awful” beach sand.

I am about chest high into my letter to you, Dave, and have yet to
mention Charlie Sheen. The movie “Broadcast News” predicted that
network news would eventually dumb itself down to a point where it would be like “Entertainment Tonight” or any of the other
Hollywood-oriented television shows. It seems even some local
television (we still enjoy WDAZ) now feeds us this pablum as they treat characters like Sheen and Lindsey Lohan as actual news. I’ve also noticed some television news anchors now comment on the news stories and give their own opinions the same deep reverence normally reserved for news of fire or accident. If there was ever a case to support your local newspaper, then the dilution of the authority of television news is it. It is sometimes like sitting down to a nice steak meal only to find you are being served jello with fake whipped cream.

Tell everyone hello and watch for my arrival when spring arrives as
the roads are just too “awful” for travel right now.

You’re little bro’

the Northcountry’s newest music

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1460 KKAQ radio in Thief RIver Falls, Minnesota was the home of country music and featured announcers with voices which were cut either from a bolt of tanned rawhide or spooned out of a honey jar. It was “Northcountry’s Best Music” and my one-time place of employment. Last Tuesday, KKAQ cut its hair.

November 2nd, 1979 was the first day of operation for KKAQ radio. It started out in a couple of double-wides just east of town,
later moved downtown and eventually came to share occupancy with it’s Thief River radio kin. KKAQ played narration to most of my high school bus rides and provided my first taste of Country music. I can get 1200 radio stations over the Internet today but there were just a select few at the time that reached the area and they were like a bulletin boardfor this part of the state. Radio was a huge part of my life; KKAQ introduced me to the music of the Back Behind the Barn Boys, Scotty Delray Torgerson and the Meadowbrook ballroom. I grew up on a farm and we
got most of our much-needed weather information from radio and most of our news. It was a good companion when I got to drive a tractor with a radio or something to pass the time while we milked cows. I got used to listening to KKAQ in its old format so I guess that’s why last week’s change really shocked me.

KKAQ went from its Country format to Classic Rock last Tuesday at 5 pm. I spoke with program director, Dave Halvorson, and he said the change was just in the interest of offering listeners another music choice. KKAQ and KKDQ have broadcast the same programming since 1993 which is a little like pulling one trailer with two semi-tractors. KKAQ’s coverage is more tailored to the area closest to Thief River Falls where a classic rock format will find consistent listeners while KKDQ will still broadcast Country Music and local news that it’s listeners have enjoyed the last few decades.

I listened to the new format and I liked it. The Classic Rock
format includes album cuts which are usually longer and more true to what the artist intended; much of what you typically hear on radio has been edited to keep it to around three minutes. Actually there has always been Country and Rock crossovers such as the Charlie Daniels band, Steve Earle, the Eagles or the Marshall Tucker Band so the change is really not that great a stretch.

While much has changed, much will stay the same. You will still be
able to listen to sports play by play on KKAQ and hopefully they will
be able to work a little news into the rotation. It’s also a nice alternative for people working in warehouses or large buildings who want something different to listen to but where a signal from elsewhere might not make it to their ears. It’s like many businesses, everyone is trying to offer a little something extra by diversifying service without extra cost. KKAQ is just offering different music instead of bags of softener salt stacked in front of the building or selling Minnesota lotto tickets.

The new KKAQ will prosper and find new listeners, including me.
However, it will though not be the same place I visited in my youth
to listen to morning announcers Curt and Dave tell me what was on the school lunch menu then later shoot traffic reporter Harv Hover from his lofty perch seated inside a gyro copter high above Goose Lake .