Time together, Time apart

I do not receive life’s knowledge gradually; instead I receive it in
drop shipments that are sometimes hard to absorb and arrive with no
notice. I had one such delivery recently and it’s something about
which I want to talk.

I recently bought a pair of amber sunglasses to cut down on the glare
reflected by our endless sea of snow. These glasses make everything
look just a little nicer and may have made me a little more open to
small revelations. I was driving into town on a beautiful morning and
taking stock of my relationships; I see so little of my friends and
family about whom I care much. In life, there is only so much time
and, after you subtract sleep and work, even less for relationships.
I began to wonder how solid these old friendships were and what I
could do to allay my concerns.

People always say that the dead live on in our hearts. This sometimes
sounds like something said to comfort those left to mourn a death.
However, I regularly think about the departed and I feel close to
them. I think that my concern about the friends I never see and loved
ones who have died intersected during my morning drive with my amber
glasses.

Here’s the deal, my friends are very alive but I rarely see them. This fact does
not make them any less real. I derive comfort and happiness from these
relationships although I rarely see my friends.
To me they are as alive and real although we rarely see each other.
I rely on our shared experiences to guide me through situations
which call for common sense, so they help unknowingly help me on a
regular basis. The same could be said about departed friends or
relatives whose affect on the living can be very strong. It isn’t
supernatural or anything, it just our memories live on and make a
difference even after we are no longer available for visitation.

I think this means I have to evaluate my relationships differently.
It is not the amount of time I spend with people but what we do with
the time. Whether these moments are spent quietly enjoying each
other’s company, talking in depth or creating empty beer cans; it is
the depth of our time and not the length that counts. We may create
friendship together but the friendship continues to grow after we’ve
parted.

So what was my drop shipment of knowledge? First, we spend more time in
people’s hearts than we do in their presence and should make our
times memorable. Secondly, people should cherish time spent together because
those memories must sustain them until they again see one another. Third, those who are sentimental are particularly susceptible to drop shipments of knowledge when wearing amber sunglasses. That should be enough for this week.

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