Monthly Archives: August 2009

For Sale

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Did the title of this column grab you attention? There are few titles so full of intrigue and potential as the one that announces something to be sold. For several years, I have bought and sold via newspaper, radio and internet classifieds, therefore I probably have no more expertise in the matter than you. However, this week I want to talk about the classified advertisement, both the good and the bad.

Let’s deal first with the bad, there’s a lot of it. The worst offense is the negative assumption. This is when someone includes the phrases “no tires kickers” or “only serious buyers” that are almost designed to scare-off potential buyers. My thoughts are that a everyone “kicks the tires” metaphorically as a way to see what condition the item is that is for sale. Also, how does anyone know if they are a “serious buyer” until they know if the item for sale is in good shape and therefore saleable. I liken these phrases to those uttered by a scorned lover who has been hurt before and therefore wants to hurt someone else. “Best offer” is another phrase that puts me off; do a little work and find out what is the value of what you have for sale; this isn‘t an auction. No price at all seems even worse as it just guarantees the buyer a wasted phone call to a seller who has no idea what the item is worth or just wants to give a long sales pitch prior to breaking the bad news. Also, make sure the items works or else advertise the fact it doesn’t.

One seller’s game I dislike is when you arrive to pick something up and part of what’s for sale is missing. I have seen this in the past when I purchase a farm implement and the hydraulic cylinder is missing. You can’t operate machinery without the hydraulic cylinder so it is not a working piece of machinery, it is only parts. Recently, I picked up a snow blower for my tractor and my salesman said that the power take-off shaft was not included. I mean, what did he think he was going to do with a disembodied, greasy p.t.o. shaft that was more important than what I and the manufacturer of the snow blower had planned for it. I did get the shaft (pto shaft, that is,) after a little haggling.

The good of classifieds is that almost everyone is honest and decent. If you trust people and take them at their handshake you will almost always be happy. I don’t know who quoted “a picture is worth a thousand words,” but this evidence of real intelligence tells me they should have written classified ads. A picture, when possible, shows; honestly, transfers responsibility to the buyer for judging condition of the item and shows the seller is open to answer the questions a picture creates. Don’t put anything in a classified ad that you wouldn’t want your parents to see and you should be okay.

I have more to say about classified advertising but we just got the paper and my wife is done reading it, that means it’s my turn. Might be something good under the section marked, “for sale.”.
 

Technology

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I’ve always had an interest in technology, something of a gentle love affair with the inventions derived from scientific discovery. My feelings could best be summed up by a few verses from the movie, “Napoleon Dynamite,” which I will save for later.

I think the most pervasive piece of recent technology is the cellular phone. Never have so many people said so little of significance, over such a long period of time, since the advent of constant access to telecommunications. Cell phones have made it much easier to make an emergency phone call which in turn has become the greatest justification for children to own a cellular phone. I think most children would define an emergency very differently than their parents’, in either case they both feel they can justify the phone, just from a different perspective. I believe most phone conversations from child to child involve circumventing parental authority while most cell phone conversations children have with their parents involve begging forgiveness as opposed to asking permission.

In my own life, technology is both good and bad. It’s great that I can sit and watch the weather constantly during a storm but bad that I ignore my wife while doing so. It’s good that I can purchase what I need more cheaply on the internet but bad that I almost purchased a really nice, tractor-trailer in Nebraska that I did not need in a fit of Ebay-euphoria. Most of my internet use deals with; research for my column, paying bills, watching old music videos, visits to agriculture extension websites and communication with family and friends. I do still occasionally visit Ebay but only under strict adult supervision.

Some scoff at technology, however our modes of communication change as time marches on, whether we choose to keep step or not. I hear people speak of how they refuse to accept new technology such as cell phones or internet service. I’m sure people who communicated with smoke signals were reluctant to try the telegraph just as telegraph users rejected the telephone; my point is that new technologies are there to make communication easier. If a cell phone makes it easier to communicate or you can email a distant relative to stay close then these technologies are good. New technology is not cold nor does it undermine traditional values as long as it is used properly. I also think it’s a bit egocentric to make the rest of the world communicate on your terms instead of those accepted as standard to civilization.

I think a person who refuses to change only isolates himself and that you’re never too old to learn. My dad is 86 and he has a cell phone. He can also receive emails on his Presto email printer which he and my mom received one Christmas. Even though he can’t send emails, dad can receive them with the Presto printer and it’s very simple to use. It is a technology that fights one of the worse problems the elderly face; disconnection. When you are unable to communicate with a technology that everyone takes for granted, it’s like not being able to use one of your five senses, such as hearing which can lead to a feeling of isolation.

In the movie, “Napoleon Dynamite,” Napoleon’s brother falls in love on the internet. When he finally meets his new love in person he croons to her, “I love technology, but not as much as I love you.” For all of the scene’s intended silliness, it seems to me that he has the proper perspective on technology; a good means to connect with people but not an end in itself.
 

The Joy of Camping

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Camping is great, for other people-not me. I’ve been regaled by tales
of s’mores-flavored camping trips in which friends and family fall
asleep to the sound of frogs croaking while the campfire quietly
dies. I’ve always thought the same thing about this beautiful,
tranquil scene; it sounds like punishment. No showers, no proper bed,
no shoes and socks; no thanks.

The first area campers were those who settled our land. These brave
people, who knew how to handle great hardship, sometimes lost their
minds during the trek from where they belonged to wherever they
planned to end. I think modern man lacks the physical courage of early pioneers, so therefore
ill-equipped to sustain the stress, dirt and lack of showering facilities that are
the mileposts of a camping trip. While some pioneers lost their minds
because of their trip, it seems proof of modern man’s mental instability
that he keeps making camping trips even after his/her first
experience. I believe it’s rare that I belong anywhere in which I
cannot sleep in my own bed. In the case of camping, I can’t even
sleep in a bed. It is only the lucky camper who sleeps on a flat
uncomfortable mattress-most sleep on flat uncomfortable dirt.

I don’t have a lot of experience camping, I am sane and therefore
quit after the first few trips. As a young man, my friends and I
occasionally camped in the woods of the old Kasprick farm on the last
day of school. These were primitive excursions and helped me develop
my dislike for camping. Later we moved our base camp to Lilac Ridge
and it was there that I learned the brutality of a cold morning in late May.
My sharpest memory of camping on the west slope of Lilac Ridge is of waking to an environment where night still held sway and morning was dawdling across the Eastern time zone. The cold entered the tent door so freely that in desperation, I collapsed part of the tent to reduce our interior wind chill.

I am probably one of the few people who never attended Bible camp. I
grew up with the mistaken belief that no one may enter heaven who has never attended Bible camp. I can be stubborn, and had made my mind up that
short of a dart gun and one of those cages they make from a steel
culvert; I was not leaving my home to attend camp. I would have
been gone from home for a whole week with no way to communicate with
my dog, our barn cats or the cattle. I could pray to God from the comfort of my own bed
and I’d already learned the words to “Kum Ba Ya” during vacation
bible school in my formative years, so it seemed I had covered my bases.
I hope the leather wallet I never made is not the passport needed to enter heaven.

I recently read that some summer camps are wired to the internet. Worried parents can observe their children in real time from their home computer and then decide if their child is having a good experience. “Big Brother” has been replaced by “Big Mother” in this scenario and woe to the 19 year-old camp counselor who is caught on camera not providing a memorable experience for a youngster. I like parents who “hover” their youngsters into permanent childhood about as much as I like camping, so summer camp on the worldwide web, seems to me, worse than the real thing.

If you like camping, my apologies; I was scarred at an early age by poorly-erected, canvas tents and an over-developed need for a daily shower. I hope you enjoy your time around the campfire, as I hope you enjoyed this week’s column.
 

Good Ole Days

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In the musical, “Brigadoon,” the little town in which the story is set appears only once per century. My home town of Viking is like that-only on a shorter time table. Viking is probably not on your radar most of the year but once every year, it appears. Good Ole Days in Viking, Minnesota is August 14th-16th and something I want to talk about this week.

First off, Viking is beautiful; people take care of Viking-it’s not just a place to sleep. Two churches, the elementary school and community center have not changed in decades, however these anchors of a small community have not become old and uncared for, either. Viking has progressed with a new township building, many remodeled houses and a new café. Every time your flush in Viking, it is a vote for renewal and progress as the city recently installed a modern waste management system which clearly shows they have planned for their future.

Good Ole Days begins Friday the 14th with an afternoon garden tour at 5:30 and an outdoor movie, “Night at the Museum.” Saturday morning starts with breakfast at the new diner where you shop the antiques while you wait for breakfast, this is my favorite place to buy collectibles and primitives. The Rod and Gun Club is sponsoring a “Young Sportsman” event for young hunters and fishermen and there’s a flea market in the park all day. Eat as often as you want, as the Viking Firemen will serve a wide variety of food that’s scores well in excess of a days’ worth of Weight Watcher’s points (go ahead, it’s a special occasion) all day long. The Kiddie parade starts at ten followed by the main parade at eleven. There’s bingo in the afternoon at the fire hall and a vintage snowmobile display is planned in the new township building (rumor has it the world famous “Captain Nordic” John Deere 300 is going to be featured.) Saturday night the “Wood Picks” will play at the same locale. Sunday features a community worship in the park at nine followed by coffee and rolls.

The museum in Viking is a separate daily celebration unto itself and deserves its own paragraph. The Peter’s museum is run by Jerome Peters. The museum seems to be in a constant state of construction as it is always expanding. I’ve visited the museum as recently as two week’s ago and it really is worth the trip. The Peter’s Museum will feature plowing and lefse-making demonstrations plus items from the history of farming and living not only in Viking but from all rural life. The Peter’s Museum has all new buildings, is nicely organized and is more like something I’d expect from a town much larger than Viking. It will be open all week-end long.

Everyone talks about getting back to a simpler life; this is your chance to at least get a taste. Good Ole Days in Viking is that perfect chance to experience simpler times, participate in events that are created by volunteers and not for profit, then find out how your parents and grandparents lived their lives. You can learn about Viking at their website, www.vikingmn.com , but you’ll learn to love my home town with a visit to Good Ole Days August 14th through the 16th.